It was a typical hot tropical Malaysian day accompanied by a typical Malaysian island scene, dark volcanic sand, green South China Sea, and tall swaying palms.

A rusty spring bursts from the bank holiday morning as if from an old mattress, a dirty day I want over so’s I can get on with the funny business of dying with that familiar double-act, remorse and shame.

Have you ever sat in the cinema, or at a dinner table, or in a meeting, and wanted to open your mouth and scream?